Sociopath, Breast Cancer, and Domestic Violence Awareness
Dangers of Cancer and Caregiver Abuse
Windows into the secret world of abusing the ill and cancer patients.
By: Elizabeth Wieck (A Cancer and Abuse Survivor)
This is the first in a series of articles that will explore the secretly cruel and selfish sides of caregivers, and those that abuse cancer patients.
As a cancer and patient abuse survivor myself, I will investigate and aim a small lantern into vast, hidden realms of devastating abuse by caregivers, both domestic and professional, that too often ends with lifelong physical or mental traumas, or death by accident, suicide, or murder of the patient.
This is an introduction into a dark, shocking world.
Many Americans think of October as a month to put up Halloween decorations of bats and zombies and spiderwebs, and also as the gentle transition from summer to fall to the first chills of winter.
October is also the Awareness Month for domestic violence and breast cancer. And really — you should not only be concerned with breast cancer, but any cancer.
“Domestic Violence” is also called “Intimate Partner Violence”.
A Look Inside the Secret Cruelty: Who is the Victim? What is the Abuse?
Annually, an estimated 200,000 disabled individuals, including those struggling with cancer will experience violence and abuse.
The abuses can be committed on any sex or gender, any sexual orientation, and in any type of intimate relationship. The abuses can be physical violence, but also are just as often varied forms mental, emotional, and medical violence. Usually the abuses are combined on multiple levels.
Violence means abuse.
Anyone can be a victim. And abuses don’t always show to outside observers. Those close to the abuser — such as the abuser’s friends, co-workers, or family members — may not even know that person is an abuser. Or they may know — and may defend, glance the other way, ignore facts, or make excuses for the abuser.
Making excuses for an abuser is unacceptable and only further harms the victim.
Cancer is a despicable group of diseases. And those that abuse cancer patients are equally despicable. Cancer is always potentially deadly. And those that abuse cancer patients are equally potentially harmful and deadly.
Abusive conduct already present will frequently increase as the relationship progresses.
Caregiver or Abuser? Can You Spot the Devil Hiding Behind the Face of an Angel?
Abuse can grow and magnify through the course of major episodes in life, especially when dependence and the needs of assistance from a significant other also expands. The diagnosis of cancer is a prime example.
And if that abuser is also the caregiver, the care becomes mixed with abuse. Often care stops or never exists altogether, and is replaced with abuse.
The “We’re Open” Sign for Abuse
The majority of perpetrators of these offenses are family or paid caregivers. Large numbers of people with disabilities require assistance from a variety of caregivers, and violence or abuse often takes place within these caregiving relationships.
Often spouses, partners, family members, and other types of significant others become the primary caregiver. This can intensify and intertwine the participation of the “caregiver” in the patient’s medical, physical, emotional, and financial needs.
This creates an open window for myriads of abuses. And ties the victim to the abuser even more.
Many times the cancer patient becomes isolated. This empowers the abuser to commit domestic mistreatment, violence, and atrocities in private. Many times the abuser will purposely isolate the cancer patient, or increase isolation. This restricts the cancer patient’s mobility, freedom, communication, and knowledge of the real outside world. It can be like putting a mouse in a cage with a snake.
Gaslighting, deception, distortions, and coverup by the abuser are not uncommon. Lies and alibis lay usually necessary to avoid detection.
Cancer patient abusers can put on the face of an angel — while they exist in reality a secretly cruel and toxic person.
Abuses can cross into criminality.
How Abuse Creates a Monster of a Nightmare for Cancer Patients
Abuse impacts both treatment decision making and health outcomes.
A woman noted that the delay of her mammogram screening was directly caused by the abuse she was experiencing, in one study by E. M. Sawin.
The detelerious effects of caregiver or domestic abuse may make cancer worse.
In one study of breast cancer patients, 54% who were identified as experiencing intimate partner violence where twice as likely to develop estrogen receptor negative ER- and/or progesterone receptor negative PR- tumor receptors compared with those cancer participants not suffering from abuse.
Examples like these illustrate that it can be difficult for those on the outside to determine whether the victim’s symptoms are owed to the cancer treatment or to the abuse they are experiencing.
This helps provide the perfect cover-up for abuse.
When the Caregiving Facade Breaks
Madison Brock (LCSW, MSSW) sounds the alarm.
The abusive caregiver may:
- Respond to the patient’s cancer diagnosis in a self-centered, minimizing or even dismissive way (e.g., they focus on how the diagnosis is affecting them and look for sympathy from others).
- Not acknowledge the patient’s fatigue and/or increased need for rest. The caregiver may purposefully wake the patient from naps, prevent resting and/or assume that patient can resume normal household chores before fully recovering from treatment.
- Make negative comments about changes in the patient’s appearance during treatment and/or after surgery.
- Force the patient to consent to a treatment that is not wanted or deny treatment that is wanted/needed.
- Deprive the patient of medications or communication devices.
- Use the cancer diagnosis as a reason to prevent the patient from interacting with loved ones.
- Exclude the patient in financial decisions that relate directly to the patient’s income.
In a tragic example, a woman diagnosed with metastatic hepatocellular was denied food, water, and an ambulance by her abusive partner. The abusive partner noted to others that “the patient was not dying fast enough to benefit the family.”
Madison Brock (LCSW, MSSW) adds: “There is never an excuse for abuse. No one deserves to be in a relationship where their emotional and physical safety is in danger.”
Cancer Patient Abuse for Profit
Many have seen “Go Fund Me” pages and the like for selfish people and criminals who fake having cancer. Some criminals do not need to fake cancer, they just require finding a real cancer patient and faking being their caretaker.
Abuse can also involve the abuser trying to use the cancer patient’s diagnosis to deceptively steal money from charities and financial donors.
Sometimes the abuser will fabricate details of the patient’s cancer or treatment, to suit the abuser’s own needs, goals, and frauds.
Manipulating caregivers have used patients for sex.
In Denver, Colorado, Sandy Nguyen faked a cancer diagnosis for her six year-old son in 2012. She shaved his head everyday, lied about his so-called medical procedures, and posted elaborate claims on Facebook about how stressful it was to raise a sick child.
Sandy Nguyen raised $23,000 for her son’s supposed treatment costs, but the entire time, she had been lying about her son’s illness. Police say she spent $16,000 of that ill-gotten money to go to Disneyland. In 2014, she was convicted of felony theft charges.
Caregiver or Sociopath?
Abuse can grow exponentially more dangerous, even deadly, when the abuser is mentally ill, or is a high-functioning sociopath.
Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another (FDIA), also called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSbP), is a condition in which a caregiver creates the appearance of health problems in another person, or makes or keeps a patient sick, or extends their illness by preventing or interfering with proper treatment, or by other means uses a patient’s illness to serve the mentally ill caregiver’s own personal desires for attention, sympathy, respect, gain, or interaction with others under a medical umbrella. They use and abuse a patient to receive regard for themselves. They are dangerously fascinated with the medical field and the attention of medical professionals.
Permanent injury or death may occur as a result.
This is usually perpetrated under the guise of “sincerely” helping and caring for the patient — where the “sincerity” is really the knife in the victim-patient’s back. This is one of the worst varieties of abuse. Many times they are never found out, and this type of abuser continues harming patients.
Too often, this kind of pathological abuser actually receives praise for their handiwork — their chicanery can be that well-crafted.
Some aspects of FDIA may represent criminal behavior. Some behaviors turn deadly.
Truly Horrific Abuses — The Ordinary-Looking Hospital Nurse Who Is Germany’s Most Successful Serial Killer
Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another / Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy is a little-studied and understood mental illness, but one that has afflicted several of the best serial killers hidden in plain sight — as hospital nurses.
One German nurse, Niels Högel (Hoegel), murdered at least 87 patients, between 2000 and 2005. The nurse induced cardiac arrest in his patients so he could try to resuscitate them — and receive false honors and congratulations.
The German nurse preferred to generate cardiac arrests in his patients by injecting his hospital victims with overdoses of heart medication and other drugs — because he enjoyed the exhilarating feeling of resuscitating them under emergency. Sometimes the killer-nurse succeeded in bringing them back to life — however, in at least 87 cases — they died.
A former colleague explained to the German newspaper Bild that others nicknamed the nurse “Resuscitation Rambo” because he energetically, if a bit roughly “pushed everyone else aside” when patients needed to be revived from cardiac arrest.
Police believe the nurse may have murdered far more than 100 patients, but the cremation of bodies destroyed in most deaths any possible evidence.
Presiding judge Sebastian Buerhmann described the nurse’s unrestrained murder binge to impress hospital coworkers as “incomprehensible”.
The horrendous killing spree was only stopped when the killer-nurse was caught in the act of administering unprescribed medication to a patient in 2005.
A cruel gamble for attention and praise — that spanned 5 years and hundreds of lives. He was recently convicted and a given life prison sentence.
The German nurse averaged approximately 1 attempted murder (or as the nurse saw it “saving a life”) every few days, and 2 murders per month.
These hospital patient murders make him modern-Germany’s most prolific serial killer.
Scamming Hearts and Minds Hurts Real Cancer Patients Who Suffer Immensely
In Pennsylvania, another woman, Vanessa O’Rourke, also used a fake cancer scheme to steal money from caring donors. Law enforcement is fed up with those that pilfer cancer charities.
“The allegations in this case are nauseating,” said United States Attorney William M. McSwain.
The woman “is charged with preying upon the kindness and generosity of good people who wished to help those in need … there was no need here — only lies, greed, and callous manipulation.”
“Misleading people about a significant medical diagnosis in order to take advantage of their kind hearts and open wallets is reprehensible,” said Michael J. Driscoll, an FBI Special Agent.
“Instead, those funds supported her lifestyle and leisure. When someone commits such financial fraud, the FBI and our law enforcement partners will work to hold them accountable.”
The Abuser Next-Door: Sociopaths Make Up 3 to 5 Percent of the Population
While there are varieties that are greater in frequency, Factitious Disorder Imposed on Another / Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy can affect anyone — and involve any type of patient of any age as the unwilling and often unknowing, confused, trapped victim.
Be aware there are ranges of FDIA and other mental illnesses, and not every doctor will agree on diagnosis or precise symptoms.
Mental illness impacts what is invisible — the mind.
While it is effortless to diagnose a broken arm, it is not always easy to diagnose a broken mind.
An abuser diagnosed with FDIA is not necessarily a sociopath, but certain traits regularly overlap, and mental illness often comes with co-morbidity.
Sociopaths make up approximately 3 to 5 percent of the general population.
The lack of conscience and an inability to feel remorse are the underlying factors. The sociopathic personality is initially viewed as charming — until the casual deception shines through their masterful manipulation. They have skillful aptitudes for lying and cheating.
They psychologically need to exploit and orchestrate others for personal gain.
Sociopaths have little to no capacity to feel guilt.
However, they fake guilty emotions all the time to evade full punishment — or to appear “normal”.
Sociopaths are anything but “normal”, and may live or work around you anywhere.
The sociopath can be your teacher, priest, athletic coach, lawyer, a person of authority, caregiver, or the abuser or serial killer next-door.
Future Articles Documenting the Destruction Left by Cruel Caregivers
Examples of these devastating abuses will be explored and deeply examined with real-life cases in future articles. Documentation, photographs, evidence, testimonies, court depositions by abusers themselves under oath, and court trials will be presented.
Safety Planning When You’re Being “Cared For” (Abused) by an Unsafe Caregiver
Madison Brock (LCSW, MSSW) warns: “If you feel that you’re in emotional or physical danger, it’s important to think ahead about what steps to take. This is called safety planning. Keep in mind that safety looks different for everyone.”
“Everyone has the right to a safe and supportive relationship, especially those with cancer,” Brock stresses.
The Secret Cruelty Needs to Be Exposed
Victims of abuse do not need to remain a victim.
Victims may not be able to rescue themselves alone — while the person that is supposedly “helping” the victim is the house-fire they must escape.
Madison Brock (LCSW, MSSW) brings to the fore: “This is a subject which is absolutely not talked about enough.”
Following articles will investigate the shadowy and true faces of abusers, what experts recommend to survive their dangerous grip, plus what happens when the law catches them, and how — even when it took years — some brave victims fought back.
Cancer patient abuse is a dark world — but there is saving light.
Written By: Elizabeth Wieck (A Cancer and Abuse Survivor)
For the Cancer Survivor and Abuse Survivor Network
Get Help or Learn More
Get help or learn more by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1–800–799–7233 or 1–800–787–3224 (TTY), or by chatting with advocates online at https://www.thehotline.org.
Contact leading cancer organizations in the United States and Canada:
References:
Cancer patients and domestic violence: More common than you might think — https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/more-than-you-might-think-cancer-victims-and-domestic-violence.h00-158675790.html
Domestic violence and caregiving — https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/domestic-violence-intimate-partner-violence.h00-159070290.html
Recognizing the Signs of Caregiver Abuse — https://www.oncnursingnews.com/view/recognizing-the-signs-of-caregiver-abuse
Intimate Partner Violence Among Women Diagnosed With Cancer — https://journals.lww.com/cancernursingonline/Fulltext/2016/03000/Intimate_Partner_Violence_Among_Women_Diagnosed.1.aspx
Delay in treatment of invasive cervical cancer due to intimate partner violence — https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0090825805004798 and https://www.gynecologiconcology-online.net/article/S0090-8258(05)00479-8/pdf
Identifying signs and symptoms of intimate partner violence in an oncology setting — https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16927904/ and https://cjon.ons.org/sites/default/files/Y12050W859016XR6_first.pdf
Domestic violence against women with cancer: examples and review of the literature — https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16444849/
Caregiver Violence against People with Disabilities — http://criminal-justice.iresearchnet.com/crime/domestic-violence/caregiver-violence-against-people-with-disabilities/
Rural and Remote Health — http://www.rrh.org.au
The impact of intimate partner violence on breast and cervical cancer survivors in an integrated, safety-net setting — https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32671556/
Factitious Disorder By Proxy: Colorado Woman Allegedly Fakes Her Son’s Cancer And Raises $23,000 — http://www.psychlawjournal.com/2014/03/factitious-disorder-by-proxy-colorado.html
Woman who faked son’s cancer sentenced — https://www.cbsnews.com/news/woman-who-faked-sons-cancer-sentenced/
Woman Formerly of Harleysville, PA, Indicted on Fraud Charges for “GoFundMe” Cancer Scheme — https://www.justice.gov/usao-edpa/pr/woman-formerly-harleysville-pa-indicted-fraud-charges-gofundme-cancer-scheme
Former Harleysville woman indicted on fraud charges for ‘GoFundMe’ scam — https://www.thereporteronline.com/2020/09/08/former-harleysville-woman-indicted-on-fraud-charges-for-gofundme-scam/
Toronto doctor loses licence after she admits to sexual relationship with cancer patient — https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/doctor-license-relationsip-theepa-sundaralingam-1.4990346
Toronto doctor loses medical license for having sex with ‘emotionally exposed’ cancer patient in hospital bed — https://meaww.com/toronto-doctor-theepa-sundaralingam-loses-medical-license-having-sex-with-cancer-patient
German nurse who murdered 87 patients given life sentence — https://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/german-nurse-accused-killing-100-patients-faces-verdict-63522459
Niels Högel: German ex-nurse convicted of killing 85 patients — https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-48539894
Niels Högel — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niels_Högel
Factitious disorder imposed on another — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factitious_disorder_imposed_on_another
Psychopathy — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy
Sociopathy — https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/sociopathy
Sociopath — https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/sociopath
Sociopath Definition: What Is A Sociopath? — https://www.mind-diagnostics.org/blog/sociopath/sociopath-definition-what-is-a-sociopath
Signs of a Sociopath — https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-sociopath
Statistics: The Nature of a Sociopath — https://eyesofasociopath.weebly.com/statistics.html
Types and Signs of Abuse — https://www.lancasterlawoffice.com/elder-abuse/ and https://purposedsurvivor.com/abuse-survivor-basics/
MONTANA STATE HOSPITAL POLICY AND PROCEDURE: ALLEGATIONS OF ABUSE OR NEGLECT — https://dphhs.mt.gov/assets/amdd/MSH/volumeii/treatment/AllegationsOfAbuseOrNeglect.pdf
Barren River Area Safe Space — https://www.brassinc.org
Other references.
